Sunday, November 15, 2009

Mariah Can't Quite Hold it In

It seems that Mariah's sudden weight gain has caused some bladder control problems! Mariah was caught taking a leak into the water at a beach in Mexico during her latest video shoot. The gross part is, she didn't even bother to pull her bathing suit aside, or to wade into the water. She may have gained 100 pounds, but shes definitly lost her dignity.

Mariah's rep refused to comment, but beach officials who witness the disgusting event commented that "it is a criminal offence to urinate in public, and beaches are no exceptions".

I wonder if they make exceptions for whales....

Diddy Catches Crabs on the Beach

Sean "Diddy" Combs was spotted at a Hamptons pharmacy this weekend, picking up pyrethrin lice shampoo, a common medication for Crabs.
He was later spotted on the balcony of his summer house, repeatedly scratching his pubes.

It is suspected that he picked up the annoying STI while he was out partying this weekend. I don think he'll be getting much action any time soon since these pictures have been released!

Stay safe, to save yourself from STIs, and embarassment.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Amy Winehouse's Indecent Public Behaviour

Amy Winehouse, apparently on Ecstasy, was caught masturbating on a public beach during her vacation in the Barbados. With her nipple exposed and her hand on her cooch, she was asked by a beach patrol person to change her behaviour or to face charges. When confronted, Winehouse allegedly claimed that she thought that masturbating and nudity was both legal and encouraged on the beaches. This is just proof of how much trouble Winehouse is in with her drug use. Someone needs to reach out to her and help her. fast.

Lindsay Lohan Warned to Brush Teeth, or Leave

Lezlo and girlfriend Samantha's relationship is on the rocks due to Lyndsey's lack of personal hygiene. Not only has she stopped showering as often as she used to, she has also refrained from brushing her teeth, despite urges from friends and family to pay more attention to her body odours. An insider comments;

Her and Samantha used to always be seen cuddling and making out in the clubs, but now with Lindseys dirty smelly habits, Samantha is thinking that she needs to give her girlfriend an ultimatium - wash up or walk out!

Thats almost as disgusting as those nasty red dots that cover her body. Someone should have given her a toothbrush for Christmas!!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Gwen Stefani Leaves Mandarin 100 Pounds Fatter

While some celebrities are strapping for cash, pig Gwen Stefani was chomping down as much chinese food as she could at a Mandarin restaurant. She left so full and bloated with food, that she had to be carried out of the restaurant and escorted to her car. While it is nice to see a celebrity actually eating for once, maybe Gwen should take it easy on the chicken balls and fried rice.

Halle Berry's Pimp Throws Her Out

Looks like 2008's Sexiest Woman of the Year is not as desirable as she once used to be. With the growing trend of celebrity prostitution with the decline in the economy, Halle Berry, like many other A-Listers, turned to the streets to make some extra cash. Her attempt at whoring herself however, landed her on the corner. Witnesses watched as her pimp,Charles Whipper, literally threw her out of his limo onto 5th Avenue, and made this comment;

She just wasn't escort material. She makes fiddy, I get fourty-five. Thats how this business works. She had way to much pride and self respect to ever do good in this business. So I got rid of her. No big deal.

Hopefully Halle can find a less humiliating way to make enough money to buy some real clothes. These times may be tough, but there is no excuse for dressing like a homeless prostitute...oh wait. unless of course, you are one. Pathetic.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Kim Picks Booger and Eats It

It's no secret that these days are hard on Americans financially. With Kim resorting to prostitution we understand her desperation for money, but come on! Today she was seen out of LAX picking - and eating - her own dried nasal mucus! Perhaps Paris Hilton can get her a discount on food at her gas station!? Her rep had no comment.